I had decided to do the Ali Edward’s One Little Word project this year, again. I’ve even decided on my word: Acceptance. It’s definitely something I need to invite more of into my world – and I don’t mean acceptance of other people or things like that. For me, it’s acceptance of myself, and all the good and the bad with that.

Last fall it started with Harry starting school and me trying to figure out how to do everything I wanted to do – my own personal projects plus what his school/class might need and what I could feasibly do and/or be involved there. I was talking to Kris about it and one thing lead to another and that’s how we started morphing the blog. But that was just a start for me – it actually sparked my thinking about that sort of thing in general, and it led me to realizing that I had been always trying to fit me to things instead of fitting things to ME.

I can’t believe it’s taken me this many years to figure that out, lol. But it’s true, I’ve always tried to fit myself to things. Now granted, there are times when you just HAVE to – for example, I am not a true morning person, but since I drive Harry to school every day to save him a 45 minute morning bus ride, I HAVE to bend to the school’s schedule and be up early. I also discovered that I’d been using that approach in things I WANT to do and it creating my space around me, not really taking myself into account.

I’m FOREVER trying to organize myself, for my photography paraphernalia, CY365 stuff, the blog, daily grind and Harry’s school. And I’ve been on it recently again. Making myself crazy trying to make something, anything work for me and stick. I feel like organizing myself has always been like going a fad diet – I go nuts, buy all kinds of things, from folders, to storage containers etc and then I fall off the bandwagon and revert back to old habits. It dawned on me just the other day – that’s my mistake. Trying to bend myself to other ideas on organizing. Whether or not it was something that fit with me. I came to the conclusion that none of it ever stuck or worked because of that very idea – it didn’t work with my habits.

That brings me all the way back around to ACCEPTANCE. I have finally started seeing that to be successful in most things you need to accept yourself. I have finally accepted how I work – I like my things around me. Of course I have stuff in my office, but my “everyday” is out with and me around at all times. I’m using it so often there’s no point in it getting put away, that then leads to my organized chaos around me. Which actually drives me crazy, lol. I’ve always tried to organize my “area” with what I have, making it fit and bend for me when it doesn’t, clearly, work for me. I have embarked on a mission now to get me the things that WILL work for me, and I must say I’m rather excited about it! And it works for all things – I’m still on the healthy eating and exercise thing. Acceptance with that means accepting and realizing it’s a journey – it’s not going to go “by the book” all the time, there will be wins and losses, waxes and wanes –  and that’s ok as long as I keep on keeping on, accepting I can only do so much. And being ok with that.

So, I’m sad to say it’s taken me so long to figure this out, lol, but now that I have, I am embracing it fully – finally figuring out what I do and what I’m like. No more making me bend to things (things I have control over that is), I’m going to start making things work for me. And that has also recently brought to me being on the fence on doing the One Little Word project, I didn’t get last year’s finished – and it became a something that I kicked myself about. So, I’m trying to gauge myself honestly this go around – I would like to do it, but will it fall away again and not get finished? So, even if I don’t do it, my word I decided on is something I am still inviting more of into my world – acceptance! I encourage everyone to give it a try! 😉