For the nine months of the school year, we long for those three months of summer vacation, anticipating  less stress, relaxation, and a sense of freedom – the freedom to do all those things that there doesn’t seem to be enough time for during the rigid routine of the academic year.  So here we are, weeks into this much anticipated time.  What are we doing?

It seems we both have an issue with lack of structure.  The more we have to do, to more we get done.  No routine brings with it an almost paralyzing sense of “what do I do now?”  Our almost daily conversations have an element of “Where has the day gone?” or “I don’t feel like I have accomplished anything!” or “There are so many things that I want to be doing and I’m not doing any of them.”

We decided to stop and take a serious look at the source of these uncomfortable feelings.  What is it that we really are doing?  How are our days actually being spent?

from Kris B.

• I seem to spend more time planning than doing.  I make lists of books I want to read instead of reading them one at a time and moving on.  I peruse recipes and knitting patterns looking for things I might make “later.”  I write chore schedules in my planner and then don’t look at them.  This approach gives me a clear picture of what I want and what I need to do.  Unfortunately, it also gives me perhaps a more clear picture of all of the things that I am not getting done.
• I have discovered the Happy Color app on my iPad. It is truly mindless entertainment, a digital color by number activity.  For whatever reason, it has a power over me.  I don’t have to make any creative choices.  I can spend an hour or more with this and it feel like only minutes.  I simply match numbers to colors and the magic happens.  My brain gets a rest without being totally idle.
• I am less aware of time.  During the school year, I live by a very rigid schedule.  Everything that needs to be done is written into my daily planner and I look at and follow that schedule faithfully.  I know where every minute of every day goes.  Not so over the summer.  I don’t set an alarm most days.  We eat when we are hungry rather than at a predetermined time.  I don’t worry about how long things take.  I write things in my planner and then fail to look at it; this would be the death of me during school.  It almost was today as I hadn’t looked carefully at this week and didn’t realize that I have theater tickets for tonight. 🙂

I am worried that August will come and I’ll head back to work being resentful of the fact that I didn’t do all the things that I thought that I wanted to do over the break.  But, if I am gentle and compassionate with myself, I also realize that my mind and body need this kind of break.  I can’t go 24/7 all year long with the kind of intensity with which I do from August to May.

from Tracey G.

• I too seem to have fallen into the “there-are-so-many-things-I-want-to-do-that-I-can’t-seem-start-anything” trap. I’m paralyzed by having TOO many things I want to do and learn! I’ve a gazillion wanna-do knitting projects – which I just started one today that’s actually for me, instead of it being solely for the purpose of *learning*. Even though it is something I’ve never done before, it’s going to be trial by fire learning!

• That first entry leads me to the “wanting to learn” thing. I’ve spent so much time teaching myself how to make things (I’ve maybe not mastered them but by gosh I can make them) – I can now make: mittens, gloves, fingerless gloves, hat, scarf and many variations on fingerless mitts! But that has left no time for actually creating something – I have all these practice pieces around! But, I’m also reminding myself each stitch made is a practice and will boost my skills.

• And lastly, the above two have lead to the next thing I’ve wasted time on – knitting pattern searching. It’s a rabbit hole for sure that I’ve gone down. I’ve got so many things I want to make I have no idea if I’d ever accomplish them all! And that in a weird way also lends itself to brain inertia – overwhelming choices! But I’ve found that I’ll set out to find a certain pattern for something, and 2 hours later I’m looking at patterns for stuffed cats, which I do for another two hours…

So, dear readers:

How are you spending your summer?  Do you prefer routine or spontaneity?