from Kris B.

I was recently reading a magazine article on happiness.  A portion of the article dealt with the question, “Can money buy happiness?”  The answer was, “Yes.”  But, probably not for the reasons that you might think.

There is no doubt that having enough money to meet our basic human needs of food and shelter is the bare minimum for being happy.  The article referenced several research studies that showed that beyond a certain level of income, however, one’s level of happiness does not increase with their increase in income.  Good to know!

So how does money buy happiness?

One way is that it can buy time.  If you have little free time beyond work, paying for a housekeeper so that you don’t spend precious free time dusting and vacuuming may buy you some happiness.  If you don’t like meal prep, going out to eat or purchasing a prepared meal service may increase your level of happiness.  Though I’ve never really thought about it exactly this way, it makes perfect sense.  I may have to look into that housekeeper idea once the spring semester starts for me. 🙂

Interestingly, buying “stuff” was not a means to long-term happiness.  Acquiring things is kind of like a sugar high.  There is joy and excitement at first about having the thing, but happiness surrounding it quickly wanes, much like a sugar crash, and thoughts turn to what to buy next. Where this is not the case is when you buy things to help you create experiences.  The truth is that it is not the things themselves that are responsible for creating our happiness, but rather the experiences that are had with them.

Having all of the new and great kitchen gadgets will not make you happy unless the experience of cooking makes you happy.  Having a beautiful grand piano will not make you happy unless you enjoy playing it.  Having a fancy new car will not make you happy unless it takes you places that make you happy. Having lots of camera equipment only creates happiness if you find true joy in looking at the world from your own unique perspective.

And sometimes, you need money to pay for an experience.

I am guilty of being one of those people who has always been amazed, perhaps even outraged, by how much tickets to sporting events and concerts cost.  In the past I have found myself wondering why anyone would spend hundreds of dollars on a couple of hours of entertainment.  The article that I read put this into perspective for me.  “There is a lot to savor about an experience – you anticipate it; enjoy and perhaps share the experience with others as it’s happening, and reminisce about it afterwards.”  The reality is that happiness around experiences far outlasts that around things.

Case and point:

Last fall I saw an advertisement in the newspaper announcing that former First Lady Michelle Obama would be coming to Dallas on a tour to promote her new book Becoming.  My first thought was that she would be really interesting to hear in person.  My second thought was that the tickets were expensive; I’ll just read the book.  That’s where my thoughts stopped.

Several weeks later, I got a text message from my younger daughter saying, Save the Date: December 17.  My two daughters and I all have birthdays in December, the 22nd, the 23rd, and the 28th.  My amazing son-in-law surprised his wife, and the rest of us, with a girls’ night out – tickets to see Michelle Obama!

We spent a couple of months anticipating the event.  Then it got real.  Conversations about what would wear, where we would go to dinner beforehand, and what time we should plan to arrive at the arena all ensued.  We decided to wear neat jeans, sweaters and comfortable shoes, eat Thai food, and take the train that arrived at the venue a little more than an hour before the beginning of the event’s start-time.

Because my girls and I all have adult lives now, rarely do only the three of us share time together.  Most of our family time is with our entire family, which is certainly a good thing!  That said, getting to have an evening with my girls to myself was a gift in itself, regardless of what we did.  Hearing Michelle Obama speak made it more perfect, however.  To experience her first hand, with my daughters each beside me, was priceless.  Why? Because Mrs. Obama spoke wisdom to women – about being a woman in a man’s world, about the importance of female friendship, about the role of women in the world, about the honor of motherhood, about being the best woman you can be.  She talked candidly and honestly about the struggles, the successes, the pains, and the joys she experienced in her own life.  Her words were raw, real, and relevant.  I’m sure they touched me, a young baby-boomer, and my daughters, both Millenials, one who is a single working professional and the other who is a married working professional and pregnant, differently, but in equally powerful and moving ways.

There is no question that money, and an incredible thoughtful son-in-law, bought happiness for all of us with this experience.

We did each receive a copy of Michelle Obama’s book, Becoming, for Christmas.  And yes, it is a thing.  However, each time we see this “thing” on the bookshelf, hold it in our hands, and read her now familiar words, our experience together on December 17, 2018 lives on; memories from that amazing evening continue to fill our hearts with happiness.

All that said, equally meaningful and memorable experiences happen without money.  I urge each of you to experience all that you can in 2019.  Be present to the moments and the people in your lives.  As the saying goes, “Live, Laugh, and Love” and may I add,  do it boldly and without regret!

Share with us in the comments below something that you would like to experience in 2019 )big or small).  This will enter you in our $50 King Arthur Flour gift card giveaway on Friday.  Remember that you can enter one time on each of our 2019 posts, that’s a total of 5 entries per person. Right now, the odds are pretty good.  Get your entries in!